Perfectionists often set big goals for themselves, dedicating all their time and effort to making them happen. If their perfectionistic attitude is a healthy one, it can appear to be an impressive trait that can enable them to do anything they set their mind to.
Perfectionists can be incredibly self-motivated and driven toward achieving their goals, but sometimes their perfectionistic attitude is unbalanced and excessive and this is when it becomes unhealthy. Regardless of all the energy and effort they put into doing something, they’re never happy enough with the results.
They will feel defeated when things fall below their expectations, which is often.
Life is uncertain & expecting perfection from life at all times is a surefire way to experience disappointment.
In a perfectionist’s world, their self-worth is linked almost solely to successful outcomes, which is completely not true. Even though success is not guaranteed at every turn, there are many other factors that should determine self-worth, satisfaction, and happiness.
The Driving Force to Their Perfectionism
Many people exhibit this personality trait. How do they develop this mindset, that everything needs to be perfect? Why are some people predisposed toward seeking perfection, even if it is unattainable?
Here are some of the few interesting causes of why some people become a perfectionist:
Deep Internal Pressure
Even if we’re not conscious of it, we’re all driven by something. Our actions are driven by our emotions and motivations. Most perfectionists have a deep internal pressure to perform well and prove themselves. There’s always a reason for this. There may be a constant need to prove themselves to others.
It can be drawn from a positive memory, where they are motivated to live up to an image that people they care about expected of them. Whether the pressure comes from a place of lack, or a place of love, something deep inside them motivates perfectionists to perform to their extreme best at all times.
Many perfectionists exude a vibe of near-perfection and confidence to others. It may surprise other people that they most likely have low self-esteem and self-worth issues. People see perfectionists continually trying to deliver excellence, by working harder than most.
The perfectionist feels that they have to over-deliver to compensate for not being perfect, even though they want to be. Being a perfectionist can be due to an internal self-worth issue that’s unresolved. Every person is valuable and worthy, but for perfectionists, their value as a person is conditional and based mostly on their accomplishments.
They want to feel deserving, so they give their all, and even then expect to give more. They don’t realize that they are deserving and have done enough.
Wanting Acceptance and Validation
Being a perfectionist can start at home when early in life they learn they are accepted if they meet certain standards that are expected from them. They often seek validation and acceptance from other people. They truly believe that they will only receive this when they’ve perfectly delivered what’s acceptable and expected from them.
Perfectionists who grew up receiving loving rewards for certain behaviors could be in constant need of the same loving acceptance and validation as an adult.
They run the risk of constantly feeling like a failure if they do not get this validation or receive positive feedback for their actions. They don’t need to do this in reality, but for them to feel worthy, they do.
Fear of Rejection
Many perfectionists have a deep fear of failure and rejection. Both emotions can cause a loss of self-esteem. To a perfectionist, success provides a sense of belonging and acceptance. There can be no rejection if they are seen as being perfect. In their mind, successful people are well-liked and sought after and not likely to be rejected by others. This is important to them.
Their Beliefs and Mindset
A person with a fixed mindset is often fixed in their beliefs about what they can or can not do in life. Perfectionists often have a fixed mindset, which pushes them to strive hard at what they are good at. They can be fixated on the idea that they’re only good at certain things, so they stay in their comfort zone, only doing what they can do perfectly.
It is not only a negative disposition to have, it can be incredibly limiting. It can cause them to be perfectionists in even the smallest areas of their life. Instead, they should relax and believe more in themselves and their abilities to learn new things. If they did they may find that they are good at a lot of other things too!