Oh, the beginnings of new love! Isn’t it wonderful? Well, for some starting a new relationship can be exciting, but for others it can be terrifying. There is so much about the person you don’t know, so there’s that lurking fear of all the unknown things about them. Quite often it’s all due to trust. Can you trust them, or will you just get hurt?
This fear isn’t unusual at all! When you get into a relationship you are handing over your heart. Your placing it in someone else’s hands, and that can make you feel vulnerable. You’re giving them the power to affect your emotions and your life, and that’s a big deal!
Why New Relationships Can Feel So Scary
The fear of getting into a new relationship often boils down to uncertainty about the other person, the future, and even yourself.
Fear of Getting Hurt
When you open your heart to someone new, you’re taking a significant emotional risk. It’s not just about liking someone. You’re actually allowing them into your world. You’re about to share all your hopes, dreams, and emotional baggage. If you’ve been hurt before, the scars from those experiences can resurface at any time too.
One little trigger can bring up lots of fears! You can’t help but wonder if it will be the same as before.
Rejection, betrayal, or heartbreak, are not just abstract fears. They’ve developed from real life experiences, and your brain remembers them all.
Instead of seeing this fear as a wall, let it remind you to take things slow, to communicate openly, and to trust yourself. Every relationship carries the possibility of hurt, but it also holds the potential for a lot of love.
Fear of Losing Independence
If you’ve been on your own for a while, you know you can cope just fine by yourself. You may have been independent for a while and proud of what you have built all on your own too.
You know how to manage your life, pursue your passions, and find fulfillment without needing anyone else to help you or do it for you. That’s an incredible strength, but it can make the thought of a new relationship feel complicated.
You can’t help but ask yourself whether or not this new person will disrupt your routine. Will their needs take over your own priorities? Will you have to sacrifice the freedom you’ve worked so hard to achieve? These are valid concerns because relationships do require compromise.
However! Compromise doesn’t mean losing yourself. A healthy partnership should complement who you are, not overshadow it. It’s also worth remembering that independence and love aren’t opposites. The right relationship will create space for your individuality while offering a partnership that makes life richer.
Fear of Failure and Flaws
Another big reason new relationships can cause fear is due to the fear of failure. The what ifs can feel endless. What if this doesn’t work out? What if I’m not enough? What if they see my flaws and decide I’m not worth it? This fear is all about your insecurities. But let me challenge that for a moment.
No one is perfect! You know that, we all do, but sometimes we still think we need to be to make a relationship work. It’s just not possible. Relationships aren’t about being perfect, they’re about being real. The moments when you show your true self, the funny quirky things about you, your imperfections, is when you will create your deepest connections.
The right person won’t run from your flaws, they’ll love them. They’ll love everything about you.
Ultimately, the fear you feel when starting a new relationship isn’t a bad thing. It’s there to protect you. The key is to not let that fear hold you back from something that could be beautiful, or allow it to dictate your actions. Acknowledge your fears by all means and understand where they are coming from and if they are helping you or holding you back.
So instead of feeling afraid, allow the excitement to creep in and make your determinations later. Still listen to your instincts but enjoy life too. If you don’t there is the possibility of never knowing what could’ve been because you were too afraid to try.
