Opposites attract. For many people, this is common among relationships. People with very different personalities, characters, and even goals who end up living ‘happily ever after’ is truly something not strange or unheard of. However, not all such relationships are harmonious or fair and equal.
Narcissists and empaths are among the types of couples or partners that can seem to have an almost automatic attraction for one another. They may be opposites, but they certainly share a common attraction. But if we look even closer, it is the narcissist in the relationship that often incites the luring.
Simply, it is because they are or will be the main beneficiary of the relationship. It is said that every relationship requires some give and take. Well, in this pairing, the empath does the giving, and the narcissist does the taking. Narcissists are attracted to empaths, perceiving them as someone they can easily dominate.
The Natural Way of the Empath
Empaths are naturally loving and often very nurturing people. They’re typically very altruistic and highly sensitive in nature. Empaths make the softest types of people, and they’re characterized by their compassion and empathy for others. Empaths are very in tune with other people’s emotions and energy. They have a high degree of compassion for every person they come in contact with. Unfortunately, this can often be to their detriment, as in the case of a narcissistic partner.
Because empaths don’t naturally have the same emotional filters that most people do, they run the risk of being taken advantage of, manipulated, and controlled by a narcissist in their life, creating a victim and abuser relationship dynamic.
Although empaths aren’t completely blind or unable to detect negative behavior in a potentially toxic, narcissistic partner, they can still develop a trauma bond. Once created, it makes it doubly harder for an empath to exit the relationship.
When an empath becomes trauma bonded with a narcissist, their natural empathy makes it harder for them to recognize the negative behaviors as a red flag and simply put an end to the negative cycle. They are more likely to look within themselves for answers and accept the fault as theirs.
They may attempt to stretch themselves too much, hoping that their selfless love will help the other person and change them. Empaths are the kind of person that a typical narcissist could definitely rely on for generous doses of love and attention, which they crave.
Of course, empaths don’t find themselves attracted to narcissists just because they are very opposite to themselves. It often starts with a manipulative tactic from the narcissist. They could mislead the empath to think of them as an ideal match to be in a relationship with before the narcissist finally shows them their true colors. Narcissists often put up a front just to win an empath’s affection.
However, when an empath genuinely cares about a person, they do everything in their power to try to help them. Seeing hope in changing the narcissist causes them to stay bonded to the toxic relationship and unable to effortlessly exit from the emotional abuse. This is how empaths end up in a vicious cycle of being trapped in a relationship with a narcissist.
A naturally loving empath will have a heart so big for the abusive narcissist in their life. Only until empaths become determined enough to put in place boundaries around themselves, keeping the narcissist at an emotional distance, will they begin to neutralize the imbalance within their relationship.
A Narcissist Works Differently
A narcissist works opposite to an empath. A narcissist’s lack of empathy makes them unable to feel or completely understand the pain they may be causing to a partner. A classic narcissist will have end goals of their own upon entering into a relationship.
It normally isn’t because they genuinely care about the other person or want to be with them through good times and bad, but it’s mostly out of a need they have determined the other person can selflessly satisfy.
For this very reason, narcissists are naturally attracted to empaths. Narcissists unconsciously know that empaths are the best people to supply them with what they lack.
For empaths to get out of a troubled partnership with an egoistic and self-centered narcissist in their life, they need to start looking at things more objectively, not solely by their attachment to the relationship and emotions for the other person. The best thing to do is always to start building some boundaries once there is a realization that neglect or abuse has set in.
Unfortunately, an empath’s natural reaction to relationship conflict is acquiescence. The feeling is that accepting blame, or at least not outwardly blaming the other, will lead to a reduction of the problem. However, tolerating a narcissist’s abusive behavior will only keep the abuse going and more difficult to escape from.
Simply put, a narcissist will mostly do whatever they can get away with. For every empath who feels helpless, it is natural, but they need to realize that they’re not alone in feeling this way and that help is available for those who reach out.
