Everyone experiences episodes of anger throughout their lives. The problem is not the anger itself but how each person decides to deal with it. The very real issue is in accepting that we can decide, that we indeed have choices. Anger is a natural emotion, but our reactions and responses are our choices, whether we like to admit it or not.
Many of us decide to suppress the emotion because we believe that talking about what may be bothering us shows a sign of weakness. Let’s face it, nobody wants to come off as being weak or unable to deal with issues. So we bury the issue at hand deep within instead of identifying the thing which makes us upset. This approach is doing more harm than good.
When we bury things and don’t deal with them, they tend to come back up and usually not in a good way. People, in general, like to put things off or have the ‘I will get to it later’ attitude.
However, you can’t allow things that frustrate you to sit and fester, building negative energy until it explodes. We are likely to explode with uncontrollable bouts of rage and lash out at those around us, which is not the healthiest or most appropriate way to respond.
It can be job-related, relationship issues, or even as simple as plans that don’t go as anticipated. If someone has difficulties in dealing with allowing things to get to that point, there are options for getting help. Admitting you may need assistance in dealing with your anger is the first step. Remember anger is not something we can just get rid of, it is a normal emotion.
Counseling or Out-Patient Therapy
In some cases, just visiting with a counselor, a church group or other support group can help us with our bouts with anger. We must learn a different way of dealing with situations that trigger our anger outbursts.
Just visiting with someone outside of the normal people around us can at times give us relief. One thing is for sure, no matter which avenue we take, identifying the issues that trigger our emotion is key. We must pay close attention to what feelings arise immediately prior to our anger being triggered. By doing so we can almost predict when we are about to blow our top. Then we can consciously redirect our thinking and control our responses.
With help, we can learn to breathe through a situation, or in some cases, it is best to step away for a short period of time. Gather ourselves, calm down, and address the issue later with a calmer demeanor. Slowing down and taking a minute can help a person realize that becoming overly enraged is doing more harm than good.
It can be hard to redirect ourselves because we aren’t the problem, right? What we are feeling is righteous anger! Well, we personally may not be the problem but our way of dealing with an issue may be. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone; it does not make you weak.
Another benefit in counseling or group therapy is taking advantage of others’ knowledge and experiences. You may find similarities in someone you are visiting with. It is not that every technique someone uses is going to work for you, however, bits and pieces may help you along the way. As said before, just the release of getting things off your chest and knowing there are others that battle with anger issues can help with letting you know you are normal.
In-Patient or Group Homes
Some people have let anger run their lives for so long that it has come to the point where they need to remove themselves from their surroundings for a period in order to get things under control. There are places that offer this kind of help also. In more extreme cases removing yourself in order to get help may be the best option.
In a setting like this, you will have more access to counselors. You may not be aware of what triggers you and visits to a counselor on a weekly basis just didn’t properly identify them. Here you will have a team of people to assist you with identifying those issues. Just having the advantage to visit with a health care professional on a regular basis gives you a better opportunity to identify what triggers you and how to cope with them.
Taking the step to enter a facility on your own is not an easy one. Doing so takes real intent and effort but also is a sign that someone really wants to fix the way they deal with their issues.
Do It For Yourself
Taking the right steps in dealing with anger will be beneficial in every aspect of your life. Try to avoid thinking you’re doing it for someone else. It is you that needs help with dealing with anger. Seeking help does not make you weak, it makes you smart. Of course, whichever treatment works for you will not only help you but benefit those around you as well. The first step is always the hardest, you must be brave enough to take it.
