You’ve been invited to a party and there are going to be lots of people there, and lots of people you haven’t met. How does this make you feel? Meeting someone new can stir up a mix of emotions. You may be curious, excited, or you may be someone who experiences dread.
For some of us, even if you don’t suffer from social anxiety, you may still have an underlying sense of fear in meeting new people. It’s not because you dislike people or dread the interaction itself, but rather, you’re cautious about whether this new person can be trusted. Are they safe, or will they harm you emotionally, financially, or even physically?
As I said, this fear doesn’t always stem from social anxiety. It’s actually a self-preservation fear. Trusting someone new means opening yourself up to the unknown, and that vulnerability can feel risky. Are they friend or foe, we don’t know. So our survival mechanisms jump into action. Sometimes our instincts serve us well and other times they don’t. That’s why the fear remains.
Why the Fear Remains
If you’ve been betrayed or hurt in the past, your experience is telling you to watch out and be careful. So it’s natural for you to meet new people with caution.
Fear often lingers because of our past experiences because the hurt and pain just doesn’t fade away. It’s like a thorn that sticks in you and is a brutal reminder. Your mind reminds you to be careful and to be ready to protect yourself. So, when you meet someone new, it’s only natural that you approach them with a sense of wariness.
Another reason that fear remains is due to the constant stream of news and social media posts showing stories of people who have loving families, yet who also turn out to have dark secrets! They didn’t know, so how are you supposed to? This can make the world feel even more unpredictable. Not only do these news stories stick with us, but there are movies similar to these stories that are shown in graphic detail, so it’s easy to imagine the worst in others.
Plus, the reality is people are complex, and their actions can be difficult to predict. Even those who seem kind and trustworthy might act differently later. This unpredictability creates a lingering sense of uncertainty. Will they respect you and your boundaries in the future? These types of unanswered questions can keep fear alive, reminding you that trust isn’t always a guarantee.
So now you know that your fears are justified, and acknowledging your sources of fear is the first step toward understanding and managing your fears. You certainly don’t have to ignore your instincts. You just have to know when to balance caution with the possibility of connection and trust. It is possible to protect yourself without shutting people out.
Reduce Your Fears By Trusting Your Judgment In Others
Meeting new people can be intimidating, but one of the most empowering ways to ease that fear is to trust your own ability in evaluating their character. You’ve likely had plenty of experience already, seeing the good and bad traits in others. Over time, your personal lessons have sharpened your instincts, even if you didn’t know it!
So trusting your judgment is probably easier than you thought. That doesn’t mean you’ll never misread someone in the future. There are a lot of cagey people who know how to pull the wool over your eyes!
However, it does mean giving yourself credit for the intuition you have gained. To improve your skills, start by observing how people behave in different situations. Are their actions consistent with their words? Do they show respect for you and others? If you get weird vibes from them, move on. You don’t have to hang around just to be polite.
By trusting your ability to assess people, you can reduce the fear of the unknown when meeting new people and feel more confident in your social interactions. You don’t need to fear every stranger you meet!
Having a fear of meeting people is not a bad thing. You just need to find that balance between protecting yourself and staying open to possibilities. Yes, the unknown can feel daunting, but it’s also where rewarding relationships begin.
You don’t have to trust everyone, but just remind yourself that not everyone you meet is out to cause you harm. They’re just people just like you, and truth be told, they might be scared of you!
