How does complimenting someone help you influence them? Well, think about the last time someone gave you a glowing compliment. How did it make you feel? Did it make you feel good? Of course it did, and don’t we tend to like the people who make us feel good about ourselves?
Therefore, it goes without saying that it is easier to positively influence someone who likes you.
On the other hand, if someone mistrusts you because of your unconscious displays, they will instinctively resist everything you have to say. Influence is about trust and likeability and a sincere compliment can help you here.
You Need to Build Connections that Last
If you want to be influential, you need good connections with people, and a sincere compliment can spark a connection in an instant. It creates a bond, even if only for a moment, where the person feels appreciated. That feeling sticks with them and makes them more likely to engage with you and remember you in the future.
Compliments are a great way to create new relationships and connections and make them last.
What Makes a Compliment Sincere?
Think about this for a moment. You may have had a compliment in the past that you brushed off because the person who gave it was so offhand that you didn’t believe them. Perhaps you were told how good you are at something, knowing full well that they only said that to you to get you to do the very same thing for them.
Don’t Be Fake and Be Specific
This is where a compliment has to be seen as sincere. If a compliment feels fake or exaggerated, it can have the opposite effect. It can make you feel uncomfortable or even suspicious of their motives. You don’t want to be seen as a person who is like this!
Compliments that feel generic or exaggerated can damage your credibility. If people feel like you’re just throwing around compliments without meaning them, others may start questioning your sincerity in other areas too. Again, it’s all about trust. Trust in you as a person, and trust in your words.
To not be seen as fake, focus on something specific. For example, instead of saying, ‘You’re great at your job,’ choose something in their job and mention that. It might be something like, ‘I love how you are able to stay in control when things get tough. Like at your meeting today, your ability to stay calm and keep others calm was really impressive.’
The more specific you are, the more real your compliment will feel. They will know it is not a compliment you lightly give to everyone. It will feel like it comes from the heart.
That’s why specific compliments show you’ve noticed something unique in them, which adds a layer of sincerity. It’s not just a quick remark, it’s a recognition of a particular quality or effort.
Give a Compliment at the Right Time
It’s all very well to give a compliment but if your timing is off, it might be wasted. A compliment given at the right time can brighten a person’s mood and create a deeper connection between you, which strengthens your influence. So if someone has just accomplished something, acknowledging their effort with a compliment is a natural way to show you noticed their efforts right then and there.
However, you don’t have to just compliment someone’s efforts or achievements. Perhaps they said something nice to another person, or made a kind gesture that made someone’s day. You can then make their day, by giving them a pat on the back with your sincere compliment.
Not everyone responds to compliments in the same way. Some people don’t even like it, so please be aware of who you are complimenting. For example, someone who is quiet and more reserved may appreciate a compliment delivered in a quieter, private setting. They may find public compliments to be embarrassing.
Whereas someone who is more outgoing might enjoy receiving one in front of their peers. The ‘selfie-people’ especially love public recognition.
Remember, whether it be a quiet person or an extroverted one, nearly all people want to feel valued, and when you make someone feel appreciated they’re more likely to remember you and like you.
Therefore, if you want to be influential, giving sincere compliments at the right time is a great skill to master!
