At a time when our ancestors shared the planet with woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers, no one wanted to get left behind. Group inclusion was necessary for survival. Today, our greatest predatory threat is our own species, both physically and socially.

Regardless of this threat shift, the need for acceptance—and the fear that we won’t be accepted—remain powerful influences on our thoughts and feelings. In fact, this in large measure fuels the existential anxiety that has become the hallmark of a generation, driving everything from people-pleasing to co-dependence to over-sharing on social media.

In other words, while our brains have evolved, that part of it that believes we must ensure we are included in our tribe, no matter the cost, is alive and well. It’s commonly referred to as our lizard brain. Continue reading →

Write Down Your Worries

Research has shown that journaling about your fears about anything, including about being left out, reduces the amount of worry about them.

By writing them down, you are basically emptying your head of its worries.

Your worries don’t seem as daunting when you’ve written them down, and it’s like you have “slain the dragon” before you’ve even set out on your journey.

It’s been proven that we deal with worries in our minds in an emotional way, but when we write them down, we can deal with them logically. So grab a notebook and start writing. Continue reading →