It’s not easy to admit, but lying is a normal part of life. It’s fine when they’re harmless, but when lying has become regular in your life it can have serious consequences. It can ruin your reputation and it can be hard to keep a relationship.
Maybe it’s not because you have ill intentions or you’re a bad person. Compulsive lying can be a symptom of a more serious problem you may not be fully aware of.
However, if you recognize there’s a problem, you can start taking action to help control it.
How You Can Control Your Lying Habit
If you realize that you’ve made a habit out of lying, don’t be too hard on yourself. Here are some suggestions to help you:
Understand What Triggers You To Lie
You must learn to identify what triggers you to lie and catch yourself when you experience them. Do you lie to hide your feelings? Are you not comfortable sharing your opinion? Do you like it because you don’t want to explain your behavior? Or do you lie because you don’t like to talk about your failures?
Your lies can protect yourself and your feelings. If your lies deceive others for your personal gain, you have to face the consequences.
When you understand what triggers you to lie, stop justifying them. Recognize that they’re wrong and must be corrected.
Create Your Boundaries and Stick to Them
If you lie because you want to protect your feelings or because you want to get along with others, you can overcome this by setting personal boundaries. For example, if you don’t feel like going out with your coworkers on a Friday night, practice saying no, instead of lying about how you love hanging out with them but have other arrangements.
Be assertive and think of what’s best for you, so you can stop lying to make others feel better or avoid conflict. Sooner or later, those lies may take a toll on you and you will be more motivated to create new lies.
Be Tactful
Before you say something or answer a question that you tend to lie about, stop for a moment. Think carefully about what you’re going to say and consider the possible consequences. Practice giving truthful answers instead of saying what you think the other person wants to hear.
Find an Accountability Partner
When changing a habit, it can be hard to stick to it when you’re doing it alone. You need to be accountable. Find someone who can check on you and keep you accountable. It can be a close friend, a counselor, or a therapist. Commit and follow through, and don’t ever think of lying to them about your progress!
Set Your Life Goals and Focus On Them
What do you want to achieve in life? Set your goals and be positive. Work toward achieving them so that you don’t have to lie to make yourself feel better or to hide your failures. When you truly accomplish something in your life that you’re proud of, you don’t have to pretend and tell lies.
Don’t Rush Yourself
Some habits are quite difficult to get rid of. You need to replace them with good habits. Start small and take it one day at a time. It would be a miracle to do it overnight, although that would be nice. In reality, you may fall back and stumble. When that happens, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t rush yourself. Just get back up again and try again.
Seek Professional Help
When you admit to yourself that you have a problem with compulsive lying, going to therapy can help you change for the better. Don’t think that seeking professional help means you’re weak. Instead, you should be proud of yourself for taking the courage to change your life.
A professional can guide you better through the recovery process. They can help you understand your behavior and identify the underlying reasons behind your lies. If lying has already affected your personal relationship, you may want to get couples counseling or marriage therapy.
Final Thoughts
Compulsive lying may not be easy to overcome, but it’s not impossible. Start by admitting to yourself that you have a problem, find your triggers, and identify ways to control yourself. Seek professional help and commit to changing your habit. Take heart, it may not happen overnight, but once you commit to making the change, you’re halfway there.
