Any honest person I know admits to being insecure at some point in their life. That’s because the majority of people experience insecurity and those who say they don’t are likely lying or… walking miracles? We are often our own worst enemies, our harshest critics, or we internalize the external voices that consistently put us down.
It’s heartbreaking how an offhanded comment can take on so much power. If you constantly look at yourself through the eyes of someone who belittles, devalues, or simply does not appreciate you. This can lead to unfair self-judgment and your judgment is through a distorted view.
Even someone who appears so confident can have insecurities, the overachieving sibling who always manages to make them feel like a kid again, or a pimple appearing and taking you them right back to the horrific acne they had during their teenage years.
We all have our things, but whether you carried your insecurities with you from childhood or you picked them up later, you can take action to rid yourself of them.
1 – Identify Insecurities
The most important, and first, step to overcoming your insecurities is having an awareness of your insecurities. You need to sit down and figure out what insecurities you are struggling with. You will need to challenge long-held beliefs, irrational beliefs, and unhelpful thoughts as well. That is what you will find at the core of all insecurity. Check out the questions below to see how to get started.
- What do I most often feel insecure about?
- What uncertainty tends to drive my insecurity?
- What fears fuel my insecurity?
- What worries fuel my insecurity?
- Are there underlying irrational/long-held/unhelpful beliefs fueling these insecurities?
- What thoughts fuel this?
Answering these questions should help you peel back the layers to discover more about the starting point of your insecurities. Once you unravel it back to the start, you can deal with it more efficiently.
2 – Practice Objectivity
Insecurities are simply your interpretations of your life, self, others, and the world around you. They are perspectives or opinions that you have latched onto unless you challenge them. You can’t do this until you take an objective approach.
- Is this accurate or is it my imagination?
- How is it different in reality versus my interpretation?
- Am I being realistic in your expectations?
- How else should I interpret or view this event/situation/person/circumstance?
- How can I shift my self-view to better handle this situation?
- What realistic expectations should I establish?
Objective thinking forces you to question the credibility of your perspective or experience. That’s something we could all use.
3 – Success Reflection
The next step to overcoming insecurity is to bask in your success. Look at your life and everything you have managed to achieve so far. No success comes without overcoming challenges and even though you have taken all of your achievements for granted, self-reflection will highlight exactly what you went through to get to where you are. It helps put everything in perspective.
- In what areas have I excelled?
- Why did I excel?
- What strengths aided me?
- What personal traits or attributes played a role in this?
- How can I carry that mindset forward?
4 – Circumstance Assessment
It’s time to take a look at your circumstances. It’s easy to convince yourself that things are and will continue to be a particular way. That’s insecurity talking. It often leads us to think about the worst-case scenario which generally holds us back. So, explore the worst case.
- What is literally the worst thing that could happen if I toss my insecurities aside and take action regardless?
- How can I handle myself if it comes true?
- How can I transform a potentially terrible experience into a chance at something better?
- What’s the best possible outcome if I take action despite my insecurities?
- What regrets will I hold onto if I allow my insecurities to hold me back?
5 – Positivity
Before you commit to making a meaningful change with regard to your insecurities, you need to improve your positivity levels. Positive self-talk can help and if that’s something you struggle with some positive affirmations can help you build better positivity habits.
